Hard Things

Last winter, Kaylyn started having headaches.  She slept all the time.  She got about 3 hours a week off of having headaches.  We still don't know why.  When spring came, they went away.  They have been back this winter but on the pain scale they are 3s instead of 8s.  

This started a process--what if it's our house?  So we tried to move.  We could not find a rental that would let us move in, in our price range.  They say we'd have to upgrade to a 4 bedroom because we've had the boys.  And we just can't afford a 4 bedroom rental in Tri-Cities.  So we tried to buy a single standing house.  Again, in our price range what we could find needed to be fixed up and our loan again and again said no to every house we found.  We even tried to find houses in Pasco and Kennewick--which we really didn't want to leave our school district.  

September 15th we ended up buying our rental.  It's a 1944 government house called an A. An A house is a duplex with 3 bedrooms and bath upstairs, main floor of livingroom, dining room, and kitchen, with an unfinished basement: laundry in the basement.  They previous owners have put an addition on to the rental side with laundry and a half bath.  

We had to paint it to buy it.  And it took so much more work than we had ever imagined.  But we finished it and it's now ours.

We inherited renters.  The Kreitzers use to be our best friends.  That's the sad part.  If it had happened a year ago, we could have talked and worked things out.  And everyone would have been happy in the end.  Unfortunately they decided we weren't worth having as friends.  It's hard to say why someone else makes the decisions they do--but to the best of my knowledge: it was an argument over pinewood derby trophies.  I even tried to give her, her way.  I think I really gave her husband's way, but it was what she had asked for.  Also, her dog got sick.  I know they blame me for it.  I don't feel responsible.  I also now blame them for my miscarriage I just had.  I doubt they feel responsible for the stress that caused me to miscarry.  

So we have a had time talking.  Occasionally when they are in good moods we have a friendly conversation. And when they are in bad moods, we avoid them as much as we can when they feel that way. Because when they are in bad moods they treat us like my dad use to treat me.  I'm learning to not allow it while being kind, but it's a process.

Kreitzers have been fed up with the house and wanting to leave for a long time.  We gave them 90 days at their current rent and with no deposit and no notice needed--and they could leave.  Unfortunately they have ran into the same problems we did trying to move--and add pets to that.   But January 1st came and it was time to sign a new rental agreement.  They weren't pleased that rent needed to go up.  And they didn't like the shared yard.  (We had offered to build a fence in October with a lease agreement, they said don't bother we're moving).  Now they really wanted the fence.  We built the fence.  They still didn't like the contract although their reasons were less... communicated to us.  They did ask for us to spread out the deposit.  We wrote up a new contract--dropping rent to between what they were paying and what we were asking.  In the new contract it broke up the deposit--giving them 3 months to pay it.  And they wouldn't even talk with us.  We've had to give them their 20 day move out notice.  I'm still not sure if they will sign a contract in the next few days or just move out.  We're learning what it will take to evict them.

It's stressful.  Although the nice thing about them moving is we won't ever be in this position again.  No one will move in without a signed contract.  And I really do believe (after fasting and praying for them) that they will be happier not in this house, and not being our neighbors.  But I'll admit it's hard and stressful.  Stressful enough to probably cause a miscarriage.

Jonah was a prophet...

I started this as a facebook post, and as it got longer and longer--I realized it really wasn't a facebook post.  So here I am journaling it.  I have been saying I need to be better about keeping my journal again.  Maybe 2016 I will...maybe.  I have other goals that mean more to me than that.  So we will see.
Kaje came on the paper route with me this morning.  Which had me singing follow the prophet instead of my normal routine.  One verse says "Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away.  But he later learned to listen and obey." And that's the lesson I usually get for the story.  I've also focused on the lesson of forgiveness.  We are all sinners and if I want God to extend mercy to me--why wouldn't he extend that same mercy to others?  Today I really heard and pondered the second half of that verse: "When we really try, the Lord won't let us fail; That's what Jonah learned deep down inside the whale."  And I am asking myself really?  As I am dealing with a house I didn't want to buy and tenants who hate me.  But I am trying to listen and obey.  I remember the last time I asked really? When we were singing the last vs to I believe in Christ.  "I believe in Christ so come what may."  I thought those very bold words at the time.  And I tried the Lord, and I have found that all things do work for the good of those who put their trust in the Lord.  I find I learn better from music then I do from talks anyway.  But if that was true--I believe this will be too.  I do believe that our hymns and primary music are inspired.  And what a promise!
On another note--maybe because I did do the papers and my children cuddled with me instead of letting me go to bed early, so I'm a bit rambly this morning--I love being in primary.  I've talked with some about the struggles and drama that comes with organizing the Primary. I joke that someone else could have it.  And then not so jokingly about how I've usually avoided drama especially within my ward--And now I'm smack dab in the middle of having to deal with it.  This is my least favorite part.  This has been my hardest lesson.  But other than the drama--I love being in primary.  I love the music.  I love the kids.  I love the ladies I get to work with--the men aren't so bad either.  I love teaching (once I've actually planned it).  I am learning to enjoy the organization of it all too.  I have come to learn in a powerful way that this is the Lord's work.  And He makes it work out because it matters to Him.  I only have a small part in that--and it is a pleasure.  And I am grateful for these grown up moments when my testimony is strengthened and expanded in ways I would have never imagined just because I'm singing primary songs with my son (and trying to memorize all the verses to Follow the Prophet.)  Go figure.
I read recently on facebook "I don't want to be the kind of Christian who appears perfect.  I am flawed, that's why I need Christ."  And oh baby, I am flawed.  And I'm being stretched.  And I'm learning and growing and isn't that what this life is all about?  I really do try though.  I am not a half hearted person.  Never have been.  And I do try to give it my all.  And atleast I didn't have to be swallowed by a whale to learn it myself.