Kaylyn Ruth 5 months old

Kaylyn is now 5 months old!
I have always loved to take pictures of sleeping people--ask my sister Cyntha. But I especially love sleeping babies: they are especially precious to me.

Kylee loves her baby sister. She is the first to run and talk or play with her (while I try to finish dinner or something). She is becoming more and more confident. And I find myself saying "DON'T PICK UP THE BABY!! Kaylyn sometimes likes this attention, and sometimes she crys and looks at me--you can tell she is saying "Save me momma!"

Do you remember when we were wondering which was the doll and which was the baby. It's amazing to me how big she has gotten. To put this in perspective though--Rodney and Julie just had a baby girl. Alice weighs 5 oz smaller than Kaylyn despite their 4 1/2 month difference!! Now Julie's twins were both bigger than any of my babies. So I tend to have small kids and she has bigger babies, but there's the story all the same!

Kylee loving on Kaylyn. I can't help but remember the pictures we took of this little newborn laying on Kylee's legs. And now look at her!! I don't think it's Kylee who has changed so much (atleast in size).

Kaylyn has been really big on faces lately. She is playing more and more with toys, but her favorite is still simply someone's hand. And she loves to feel faces. Kylee is so good to be patient with her.

"I'm eating up my baby bumble bee. Won't my mommy be so proud of me..."

Here Uncle Garth and Kaylyn are watching TV together. Kaylyn is very interested in TV. She must be her father's child. But despite our best efforts to not allow her to watch--if it's on and she's in the room, she seems to wiggle herself around.

Kaylyn has always been very mobile. She has always seemed to wiggle until she is cuddled up or has found the food. I leave her on a blanket on my hard floors, and she will find a way off of it--not that she likes the hard floors once she get there. She moved out a bassent fairly quickly, not because she out grew it--she still fits. But because she slept better with more room to maunvere. Here she is already walking around our livingroom. She loves this walker. In the last two to three days. She finally figured out how to go forward instead of backwards. It won't be long before she is keeping up with her sisters.

It has been fun to watch her grow and develop. In the last few days she's acting older. Playing better with toys. Better coordination. More movement. And just more intellegent. She actually needs naps--instead of simply cat napping it through the day. She needs to be put in her crib and left alone. She started biting while nursing. So I flicked her mouth and told her "No, no biting." It only took about 24 hours for her to learn not to bite: She is smarter than I gave her credit. I sure do think she is adorable. And she has brought so much to our family. We love her a lot.

Me part II

So Nicole reminded me to not forget the things I have done. So here is a part two: accomplishments. It comes at a nice time because we just had our 8 cow Enrichment last week. They asked for accomplishments--and I couldn't come up with one to share. I called my sister for ideas. Her suggestion: Last year I helped can over 1,000 bottles of produce. Good accomplishment, yes.

I just had my 10 year reunion for high school--so that's a nice bench mark: In the last 10 years, I have...

received 3 degrees (Richland High School, an AA in English from Ricks, and an AA in Photography at BYU-Idaho).

I have even had paying photo shoots. I consider myself semi-professional.

I stuck with band through collage, and I loved it! (Even though I had to get up at 6 am!)

I even made an audition band on Tenor Sax! (So no one else auditioned--but hey, I made it! And I had so much fun that semester. For the most part I played football season on the Tuba. I did do one semester of concert band on the clarinet.)

I have published a poem called Aftermath in Rick's literay Publication.

I have made some incredible friends who have taught me a lot and changed my life. Of those friends, I mention Amber Young. She was my very first roommate at Ricks College. I don't think this was chance. God gave her to me because He knew I'd need an older sister and best friend. I've moved a lot. And I've tried so hard to keep in touch with old friends. I ususally fail. But Amber and I are still best friends and still in touch. This is probably more of her accomplishment than mine, but I will claim it here all the same.

I have found someone who I can love and loves me back--and made him my husband. I count this as an accomplishment. It seemed that I tended to love those who loved someone else. While those who loved me didn't seem to light that fire. I still love Todd, and he assures me it goes both ways. I will tell you--I wish I had kissed more guys instead of regreting those I did kiss. Let me clarify--I don't regret those I kissed. But I was careful with my kisses so I wouldn't regret it later on. I use to have a lot of regrets. In high school, I started trying to live my life so that I'd have no regrets. And I am much better. I count this an accomplishment as well. I no longer ask myself or think about this goal (of not regreting). Having said that, there are three boys I wish I wasn't as reserved about. I loved them whole heartedly but never kissed them. Oh well, Todd is an amazing kisser!!

We have created 3 beautiful girls. (I am surprised they are beautiful--have you seen pictures of Todd and me when we were younger?)

Now I haven't had the home birth we were aiming for: but I had Karla and Kylee as naturally as I could given my complications. Yeah--I had an epideral with Kaylyn and am totally doing it again! This goal is as accomplished as it's going to be!

I participated in a network marketing business at one point (this is how I met Todd). And I didn't achieve all my goals there. But they encouraged us to go 12 wide. I did! And maybe one day, we will go back and finish those goals, but now is not the time. Time and seasons thing again. I also hit recognition points of 1,000, 1,500, and team 10!! That probably doesn't make a lot of sence in less you've been there--but I am not going to try to explain it either. Let it suffice those are bench marks.

When we moved to Washington we had life hit us hard. So we made a goal to pay off our debt. It has made life a lot easier and this current venture of school possible. We paid off $16,000 in debt in one year (making only $19,000 that year--yeah we had a lot of miracles and a lot of help. We aren't all that). We have paid off everything but the car and my last semester of collage!! Yeah us! One day soon, we will be able to tell you we are debt free. Todd hates debt so much now--our goal is to get through school debt free. He even wants to purchase our house with cash. We will see.

I have failed at a lot of my goals. But instead of it crushing me, I am better for my failures. I move on and learn something, usually, and do better in the future. Not everyone can say that.

I have learned that the atonement is not just for the sinner but the sinned against. I am learning how to use the atonement to make up for my shortcomings--especially as a mom. The spiritual accomplishments are harder to list. This recent trail has taught me that I am not as humble as I thought I was, and that I needed to be compelled to be humble. Ouch! But I am grateful for the things I am learning. Although I pray that I learn it well this time around don't need anymore humbling. I am learning that God knows better than I do and to trust him. That if I keep the commandments, all things will be for my good. I'm learning to see that good. And I am constantly working on something to be more like Christ.

Sister Morgan once asked "why is it that Catherine breaks like a china doll once a year?" And I did. Something would come up, and I would break. I would cry. And then I would pick up the pieces and try to put something back together and move on. In Albuquerque, I had my first year where I didn't break. And since then, I take on challenges better. I don't think I break anymore although I still cry from time to time.

In high school, I realized that I was good at giving put downs. It was very popular at the time. It occured to me that it wasn't very Christ like. And I didn't like that I had gotten good at being mean--even if just in fun. So I started trying to give compliments. My first few were pathetic, but I feel I have mastered this one. I am much better about speaking my mind and saying those compliments that I use to keep to myself. And now my compliments, although always sincere, are much better.

After the divorce, I would have given anything to have my dad back. But after about 3 years, I had come close to my Savior because of it. At that point I realized I would not trade my testimony I had gained.

My point...I'm not sure. I've written 3 different points now and then deleted them. One question I ask myself often is "do I like who I am and who I've become?" Sometimes I do; sometimes I don't. And then I go to work. In writing this, I have accomplished more than I realized, and I have farther to go than I realized. And I am learning that of myself I am nothing. All that I am, all that I accomplish is because of my Savior Jesus Christ. He can do anything--even with me as a partner. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father's love, patience, and continued help.

Me

With Todd going back to school, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Paper routes tend to do that to me. I studied English and Photography at Ricks. I loved both subjects, but when I moved into the secondary education classes...they weren't what I expected.
I know there is a time and a season for everything under the sun. And my time to go to school is not now. Right now, my priority is helping 3 young girls figure out who they are and who they are going to become. And that's exactly where I really want to be. My dream has always been to be a stay at home mommy. Having kids has only strengthened that wish. I don't want to miss it. I just wish I could be better at being a mommy.
But if I knew then what I know now--I would have still studied English and Photography. I love those subjects. I would have studied the editing aspect of English rather than the teaching aspect. I didn't think I enjoyed editing although I loved working in the writing center. But I should have seen that I do. And editors make good money and can often work from home. I don't know if I would have survived the schooling though. The one grammar class I took was worst than the education class. I also think I would have enjoyed teaching--but what I really want to teach is college 111 or 101. I would love to run my own writing center. Jared, a co-worker of mine, just started running his own writing center. I'm not sure I could have made it through the required schooling though. A masters? me?
I have also learned that I love languages. I always knew that I loved them, but they did not come easily to me. If I went back now, I would study to be an interpreter: sign language, spanish, french. I would love to learn them all.
Another thing I have known about myself is that I would make a good massage therapist. But I decided not to pursue that route because of my father. I feared that everyday I would go to work and say "Look Dad, I'm doing it and your not." You know, I don't think much about my dad anymore. I could do it now. And I might, someday.
I would love to take a painting class. I really want to get a program (off the TV but on tape) and buy the supplies and just try. This is why I love photography. I can make art without being talented. The biggest secret I've learned about photography is to take a lot of pictures. We would take a whole roll to find just one picture. I found if I take 150 pictures there are several I like. Todd makes fun of me a little for all the pictures I take. But when I capture that one picture--I don't hear it.
I want to make beautiful cakes like Lorna. I want to be able to make my girls' prom dresses. I want to be able to help them feel like a princess. I want to make beautiful things like Mom. I want to learn to play the guitar. I want to write a book someday. My hardest assignments in creative writing was always the children's stories. I never wrote one I was proud to call mine--although my kids love the one I kept. The surprising thing is that I have a children's book idea that I think is really good. We will see. I want to someday write a novel. I want to write a song. It's about 100 little regrets but that I don't regret my girls. I'm not good at song writing.
(And maybe this doesn't fit here) I do want to serve a mission with Todd. I want to serve in Welfare Square.
I want to be a person of God. I want to be quick to forgive, quick to lean of faith, quick to trust God, quick to turn to God. When my family thinks of me, I want to be remembered as loving. I want to be a person that my mom is proud of while still staying true to myself. I have a friend, Eric Jones, who makes everyone he comes in contact feel like a million dollars; like they are the most important person in the world. I always felt better about myself after having spent time with him. I want to be like that. I want others to feel better about themselves because they were with me. Maybe I want to be superwoman--heck, I also want to keep a clean house--not spotless but one where people feel they can always drop by, one my family is comfortable in.
It will be interesting to look back and read this after my baby graduates from high school or gets married and see who it is I really do become.

Garth the senior

Because Garth is so special, he goes to high school until he is 21. Since he is 20--this is his senior year. These are some of his senior pictures. Garth has done the laundry for the football team. He has gone shopping and learned how to prepare a few meals like top roman soup. He has learned to do some minimal reading. He has learned a ton about computers. He is in two PE classes: power walking and then a more normal PE class where he loves to play kickball.

Kylee Jasel Nef--our princess

Kylee is very interested in Kaylyn. I am constantly telling her to get off her sister. She brings her toys. She sings her songs. She loves on her. She is a very good big sister.

Doesn't she look like she belongs in Artimis Fowl?

Well we have talked about Karla's first day of preschool, and we have talked about Kaylyn turning 4 months and her achievements. So I thought I'd take a few minutes and tell you about Kylee. She has been on a princess kick lately. I want to watch princesses. I want to sing princesses song; I want to read princesses books; I want to dress like a princess. And she does a lot of the time.

The other day, Karla found a picture of Kylee at Chuck E Cheese. "Mom I want to go to Old McDonald Had a Farm." (we sometimes sing, Old McDonald had a farm EIEIO. And on that farm he had some fries EIEIO!) Kylee then chimed in "No Karla, that's at Macornoi and Cheese. Member?" They are both very cute.

Kylee is wonderful. I filled out some paperwork for her the other day. They asked me what my favorite thing about Kylee was--no hesiation--it's her laugh!!

I have been concerned some about her though. She is scared to go to bed. And she is terrified that I'm going to leave her. She is also deathly afraid of animals and bugs. And after she fell off her bike, she was scared to ride her bike. That's not like her. She use to be my get up and go, take chances type of girl. She was swinging in a big swing at 15 months old! I love her so much and hope we can work through this. I am trying to get her in headstart. I think it will help. Although, she seems to enjoy her time while Karla is in preschool. And we have already started talking about getting Kylee into preschool next year with the ECEAP program.

Kaylyn is 4 months old!

Look at how big she has gotten--remember the little doll the girls use to hold. Was it really only 4 months ago?

Daddy and Kaylyn enjoying a show.

Kylee gave me my first toy to hold.

I just thinking sleeping babies are so cute. For that matter, I like taking pictures of sleeping people in general. Cyntha use to hate it. Todd only gets away with it because he sleeps in his underware usually. Was that TMI?

Here is your measurement picture: 11 lbs 1 oz and 23 inches long. So she moving out of the "oh, my baby was that big when she was born" phase. I now get "my one month old is that big, look at how strong she already is!"

You also see that she is showing off her tummy. She is grabbing and pulling on anything she can get her hands on. So if you see scratches on any of us--yeah, they are from Kaylyn. I can't seem to keep her fingernails short enough. But she is so cute!!

Here is her first giggles. I know it's dark--you take it when you can get it right. But she doesn't giggle a lot. Although, I put her in front of a mirror today. She smiled at the baby, and the baby smiled back so she smiled more!! And she kept trying to grab the baby. It was so darn cute. She loves to look at you and be smiled at. She likes to cuddle up too. She still prefers to nurse over taking a bottle, but she will take a bottle. And her favorite toy is a hand although she will take a toy. Also we have started cloth diapering. This is because , like I said before, for economical reasons more than anything else. I am not into green. But I am finding that prefolds are not that bad. And so far--no blow outs. We've been doing it for two days now. She even made it though the night. I admit, I like the new Snappis!! We are going to try some pocket diapers soon. I am excited. Wait for the review!I almost forgot to mention (because I don't post pictures of it) but Kaylyn has now officially nursed longer than any of my other children!!