Me part II

So Nicole reminded me to not forget the things I have done. So here is a part two: accomplishments. It comes at a nice time because we just had our 8 cow Enrichment last week. They asked for accomplishments--and I couldn't come up with one to share. I called my sister for ideas. Her suggestion: Last year I helped can over 1,000 bottles of produce. Good accomplishment, yes.

I just had my 10 year reunion for high school--so that's a nice bench mark: In the last 10 years, I have...

received 3 degrees (Richland High School, an AA in English from Ricks, and an AA in Photography at BYU-Idaho).

I have even had paying photo shoots. I consider myself semi-professional.

I stuck with band through collage, and I loved it! (Even though I had to get up at 6 am!)

I even made an audition band on Tenor Sax! (So no one else auditioned--but hey, I made it! And I had so much fun that semester. For the most part I played football season on the Tuba. I did do one semester of concert band on the clarinet.)

I have published a poem called Aftermath in Rick's literay Publication.

I have made some incredible friends who have taught me a lot and changed my life. Of those friends, I mention Amber Young. She was my very first roommate at Ricks College. I don't think this was chance. God gave her to me because He knew I'd need an older sister and best friend. I've moved a lot. And I've tried so hard to keep in touch with old friends. I ususally fail. But Amber and I are still best friends and still in touch. This is probably more of her accomplishment than mine, but I will claim it here all the same.

I have found someone who I can love and loves me back--and made him my husband. I count this as an accomplishment. It seemed that I tended to love those who loved someone else. While those who loved me didn't seem to light that fire. I still love Todd, and he assures me it goes both ways. I will tell you--I wish I had kissed more guys instead of regreting those I did kiss. Let me clarify--I don't regret those I kissed. But I was careful with my kisses so I wouldn't regret it later on. I use to have a lot of regrets. In high school, I started trying to live my life so that I'd have no regrets. And I am much better. I count this an accomplishment as well. I no longer ask myself or think about this goal (of not regreting). Having said that, there are three boys I wish I wasn't as reserved about. I loved them whole heartedly but never kissed them. Oh well, Todd is an amazing kisser!!

We have created 3 beautiful girls. (I am surprised they are beautiful--have you seen pictures of Todd and me when we were younger?)

Now I haven't had the home birth we were aiming for: but I had Karla and Kylee as naturally as I could given my complications. Yeah--I had an epideral with Kaylyn and am totally doing it again! This goal is as accomplished as it's going to be!

I participated in a network marketing business at one point (this is how I met Todd). And I didn't achieve all my goals there. But they encouraged us to go 12 wide. I did! And maybe one day, we will go back and finish those goals, but now is not the time. Time and seasons thing again. I also hit recognition points of 1,000, 1,500, and team 10!! That probably doesn't make a lot of sence in less you've been there--but I am not going to try to explain it either. Let it suffice those are bench marks.

When we moved to Washington we had life hit us hard. So we made a goal to pay off our debt. It has made life a lot easier and this current venture of school possible. We paid off $16,000 in debt in one year (making only $19,000 that year--yeah we had a lot of miracles and a lot of help. We aren't all that). We have paid off everything but the car and my last semester of collage!! Yeah us! One day soon, we will be able to tell you we are debt free. Todd hates debt so much now--our goal is to get through school debt free. He even wants to purchase our house with cash. We will see.

I have failed at a lot of my goals. But instead of it crushing me, I am better for my failures. I move on and learn something, usually, and do better in the future. Not everyone can say that.

I have learned that the atonement is not just for the sinner but the sinned against. I am learning how to use the atonement to make up for my shortcomings--especially as a mom. The spiritual accomplishments are harder to list. This recent trail has taught me that I am not as humble as I thought I was, and that I needed to be compelled to be humble. Ouch! But I am grateful for the things I am learning. Although I pray that I learn it well this time around don't need anymore humbling. I am learning that God knows better than I do and to trust him. That if I keep the commandments, all things will be for my good. I'm learning to see that good. And I am constantly working on something to be more like Christ.

Sister Morgan once asked "why is it that Catherine breaks like a china doll once a year?" And I did. Something would come up, and I would break. I would cry. And then I would pick up the pieces and try to put something back together and move on. In Albuquerque, I had my first year where I didn't break. And since then, I take on challenges better. I don't think I break anymore although I still cry from time to time.

In high school, I realized that I was good at giving put downs. It was very popular at the time. It occured to me that it wasn't very Christ like. And I didn't like that I had gotten good at being mean--even if just in fun. So I started trying to give compliments. My first few were pathetic, but I feel I have mastered this one. I am much better about speaking my mind and saying those compliments that I use to keep to myself. And now my compliments, although always sincere, are much better.

After the divorce, I would have given anything to have my dad back. But after about 3 years, I had come close to my Savior because of it. At that point I realized I would not trade my testimony I had gained.

My point...I'm not sure. I've written 3 different points now and then deleted them. One question I ask myself often is "do I like who I am and who I've become?" Sometimes I do; sometimes I don't. And then I go to work. In writing this, I have accomplished more than I realized, and I have farther to go than I realized. And I am learning that of myself I am nothing. All that I am, all that I accomplish is because of my Savior Jesus Christ. He can do anything--even with me as a partner. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father's love, patience, and continued help.