Saturday, January 10, 2009
Family photo
We took family pictures today! First time since our wedding pictures outside of big Mann or Nef family photo's or weddings of siblings. So we woke up this morning asking what we should wear. And as we were picking out outfits, Karla actually picked what we wore with Dad filling in a lot of blanks. I think it will turn out cute. Karla wanted to wear her Black Halloween t-shirt. And Todd went well, I have a black shirt too. If you and Kylee matched and wore ... we ended up wearing pink. So we finally have Todd Nef family portrait. And it will be outdated in 5 months. But our family has been this way for a while, so we thought we should get it done. We intend to do it again say Septemberish after the baby is born. But you know what they say about the best of intentions... Hopefully we can figure out a way to post it here.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Music
There are some things that impact our lives more than others. For me, music is one of these. Everytime the song about the combine driver comes on, I am driving back home at Grandma and Grandpa Cook's house--on North Glade. It brings back the memory's of all those things we learned out there, the friends we made, I had such a hard time leaving--even moving only to West Richland. It was nice living so close to Grandma and Grandpa--seeing them everyday, only when the girls were in good moods.
Always, is one of those songs that came out when I needed it. It got me out bed somedays and kept me going. Stand has always meant something to me. But now, I look back and that is what we did. We looked up and decided we had enough. We got mad, and then we got strong. There were times we felt that we bent so much we were going to break, but we made it.
I cry everytime I hear "your going to miss this"--in the last verse when he talks about one baby cring and the other screaming. And I have tried to take a few deep breaths and just enjoy this time I have. It meant a lot to me that Karla wanted to sit by me in Primary. I know I can never have these days back, so I try to live with no regrets. Somedays I do better than others.
There are songs that remind me of old friends and old loves, and although I am happily married and love Todd dearly, I think of them and smile. These people still mean so much to me.
Songs have helped me understand parts of me I didn't previously understand. They have helped me appreciate Todd more. And I see my life in them. Do you know the song that goes "hate me if you want to, love me if you can"? Isn't this Henry Potter to a tea? But as I have gone through the trials (with my family mostly)--I no longer think of just Henry. I see myself. And I am learning to say hate me if you want, but I am hard pressed to not add love me if you can.
I think of my kids. "There goes my life" is the way that Todd, especially, felt when Karla was born and yet our girls mean everything to both of us. And I love the song "I loved her first." I will always love my girls, but I do want them to meet that special someone one day. But Todd has his shot gun ready for that speech too.
There are so many songs that mean so much to me!! And music really does make a difference in my life.
Always, is one of those songs that came out when I needed it. It got me out bed somedays and kept me going. Stand has always meant something to me. But now, I look back and that is what we did. We looked up and decided we had enough. We got mad, and then we got strong. There were times we felt that we bent so much we were going to break, but we made it.
I cry everytime I hear "your going to miss this"--in the last verse when he talks about one baby cring and the other screaming. And I have tried to take a few deep breaths and just enjoy this time I have. It meant a lot to me that Karla wanted to sit by me in Primary. I know I can never have these days back, so I try to live with no regrets. Somedays I do better than others.
There are songs that remind me of old friends and old loves, and although I am happily married and love Todd dearly, I think of them and smile. These people still mean so much to me.
Songs have helped me understand parts of me I didn't previously understand. They have helped me appreciate Todd more. And I see my life in them. Do you know the song that goes "hate me if you want to, love me if you can"? Isn't this Henry Potter to a tea? But as I have gone through the trials (with my family mostly)--I no longer think of just Henry. I see myself. And I am learning to say hate me if you want, but I am hard pressed to not add love me if you can.
I think of my kids. "There goes my life" is the way that Todd, especially, felt when Karla was born and yet our girls mean everything to both of us. And I love the song "I loved her first." I will always love my girls, but I do want them to meet that special someone one day. But Todd has his shot gun ready for that speech too.
There are so many songs that mean so much to me!! And music really does make a difference in my life.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Kylee Jasel Nef
When I got pregnant with Kylee, I threw up everyday, sometimes twice a day, from Thanksgiving until New Years Day 1/1/2006. I got diabetes and had to take insulin with Kylee. My blood pressure was boarderline, so I put myself on bed rest so I wouldn't be put on bed rest. I got 30 minutes and the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon to either do dishes, take Karla outside, go out myself, what ever I wanted to do. The rest of the time I read books to Karla.
Kylee was induced July 10, 2006. She was born at about 4 pm. Things were going well with her labor. The gave me to much pit at first. Then realized it. So it was hard, but okay. My doctor started talking about a C-section. I said I would rather wait. So he preped me for anastesia--wanted to atleast give me an epideral to help me last. He then went and delivered another baby. It was the Monday after 4th of July and it was busy. Well, about 15 minutes later I decided I wanted an epideral. It hurt! It took the nurse 45 minutes to get the doctor. By then I had decided a C-section would be fine, but do something!! I finally tried to stop breathing to stop the pain. Todd was not very happy with me. But the doctor came in, and Kylee was born before a nurse could run and get the forsepts. She came fast when she came. Come to find out that as she moved down the birthing canal a knot had pulled tight. Had she come nice and easy like Karla, she would not have made it. She was blue when she was born. But she has been fine.
Kylee's first word was "Daddy," but she only took a week to say "momma." But she has been a momma's girl from the start. From the start, I could tell Kylee I was helping Karla and I would feed her in a moment. She would then let me, but if I tried to move on to something else--she'd let me know. But she also didn't sleep at night unless she was right next to me. She did eventually sleep in her swing. She has been more cuddly and clingy then Karla. She did take her first steps to Momma while Daddy was at work. Although, Todd was working long hours at the time, and I have to wonder if that was my only saving grace in having her walk to me. My kids love their daddy!
She trys very hard to keep up with Karla, and does a really good job of it these days. But she started swinging in a big swing very early because why not, Karla is doing it. Eventhough she likes to be held and cuddled, she wants to do it herself! She is strong willed and doesn't let Karla push her around. Kylee is reserved around people she doesn't know, but once she warms up to you--she is loud and rambunkish. She takes her dear sweet time coming, but when she does she does it full force. She didn't talk for a long time--although her body language said it all. She made herself understood. When she decided to talk, and not before then, she started talking 3 words at a time. This is Kylee. And I know she can do anything she puts her mind to. I love you, Kylee girl.
Kylee was the first name Todd and I could agree on when I was pregnant with Karla. Jasel is another name Todd loved. It is after his sister Lorna Jasel Nef Vance. We picked Kylee in hopes that it would help her not live in Karla's shadow: and she doesn't!
Kylee was induced July 10, 2006. She was born at about 4 pm. Things were going well with her labor. The gave me to much pit at first. Then realized it. So it was hard, but okay. My doctor started talking about a C-section. I said I would rather wait. So he preped me for anastesia--wanted to atleast give me an epideral to help me last. He then went and delivered another baby. It was the Monday after 4th of July and it was busy. Well, about 15 minutes later I decided I wanted an epideral. It hurt! It took the nurse 45 minutes to get the doctor. By then I had decided a C-section would be fine, but do something!! I finally tried to stop breathing to stop the pain. Todd was not very happy with me. But the doctor came in, and Kylee was born before a nurse could run and get the forsepts. She came fast when she came. Come to find out that as she moved down the birthing canal a knot had pulled tight. Had she come nice and easy like Karla, she would not have made it. She was blue when she was born. But she has been fine.
Kylee's first word was "Daddy," but she only took a week to say "momma." But she has been a momma's girl from the start. From the start, I could tell Kylee I was helping Karla and I would feed her in a moment. She would then let me, but if I tried to move on to something else--she'd let me know. But she also didn't sleep at night unless she was right next to me. She did eventually sleep in her swing. She has been more cuddly and clingy then Karla. She did take her first steps to Momma while Daddy was at work. Although, Todd was working long hours at the time, and I have to wonder if that was my only saving grace in having her walk to me. My kids love their daddy!
She trys very hard to keep up with Karla, and does a really good job of it these days. But she started swinging in a big swing very early because why not, Karla is doing it. Eventhough she likes to be held and cuddled, she wants to do it herself! She is strong willed and doesn't let Karla push her around. Kylee is reserved around people she doesn't know, but once she warms up to you--she is loud and rambunkish. She takes her dear sweet time coming, but when she does she does it full force. She didn't talk for a long time--although her body language said it all. She made herself understood. When she decided to talk, and not before then, she started talking 3 words at a time. This is Kylee. And I know she can do anything she puts her mind to. I love you, Kylee girl.
Kylee was the first name Todd and I could agree on when I was pregnant with Karla. Jasel is another name Todd loved. It is after his sister Lorna Jasel Nef Vance. We picked Kylee in hopes that it would help her not live in Karla's shadow: and she doesn't!
Testimony 1/2009
Today in fast and testimony meeting, I was thinking I had nothing to say. And I listened and thought--and a few things came to me. I struggled to forgive a girl, back in high school. She made my sister's life as hard as she could. It took me 10 years to let go of that and yet my sister had long forgiven her by the end of high school. So it comes as no surprise, that the Lord has put situations and people in my life that has taught me to forgive. It has been a long process that started clear back in high school. My dad left and made life really hard. Through what my dad put me through, I learned to love the sinner and hate the sin. Not an easy lesson, but one that has served me well and I am grateful for. I have learned that the Lord can really change anyone. We can't do it alone but He can change anyone--no matter what they have done: His atonement is that big. I have also come to learn that His atonement is not just for those who sin but those who have been sinned against (my counselor Bryce Owen taught me this). But it is a lesson I am only now fully understanding and starting to take advantage of. And in learning this, I am learning to forgive and give it to the Lord.
In learning to give it to the Lord, I have found a peace I never realized was possible. There is a lot in my life I just can't change or control. Some of it, I think I should be able to, but have you ever tried to change a 2 year olds attitude? Sometimes it's like hitting your head against a glass door. You still don't get out until you open it. But I am learning how to do all I can and then give the rest to Him. I eat right, usually, and then let Him take care of my sugars. And I am working at not blaming myself when I need insulin. Because it is in His hands. And by putting it in His hands, I have more strength to eat right--because He is there. He is helping me be a better Mom. And he is helping me to forgive and allow people time to grow. He is helping me to give myself time to grow too. And for some odd reason, I am also finding it easier to make time to read my scriptures, to speak more kindly to my children and husband, to pray, to accept the callings that come my way, and serve others. I really do want Him to direct my paths. I want His plan more than mine: It seems to always turn out better in the end. And not only does it turn out better, there is a lot less stress that way because I turn the stress to Him and simply try to follow. I am grateful for my Savior and that he has been patient with me.
In learning to give it to the Lord, I have found a peace I never realized was possible. There is a lot in my life I just can't change or control. Some of it, I think I should be able to, but have you ever tried to change a 2 year olds attitude? Sometimes it's like hitting your head against a glass door. You still don't get out until you open it. But I am learning how to do all I can and then give the rest to Him. I eat right, usually, and then let Him take care of my sugars. And I am working at not blaming myself when I need insulin. Because it is in His hands. And by putting it in His hands, I have more strength to eat right--because He is there. He is helping me be a better Mom. And he is helping me to forgive and allow people time to grow. He is helping me to give myself time to grow too. And for some odd reason, I am also finding it easier to make time to read my scriptures, to speak more kindly to my children and husband, to pray, to accept the callings that come my way, and serve others. I really do want Him to direct my paths. I want His plan more than mine: It seems to always turn out better in the end. And not only does it turn out better, there is a lot less stress that way because I turn the stress to Him and simply try to follow. I am grateful for my Savior and that he has been patient with me.
Karla Colleen Nef
Today life has changed in a suttle and big way. My first born went to primary and sunbeams. My kids are growing up. Karla did really well. She wanted to sit with momma during primary, but went with her class when it was time to go. She even raised her hand during class (I hear from her teacher). I was surprised and touched that she still wants to sit by momma. But I am so proud of her for being such a big girl and doing so well.
As I think of the up coming baby, I also think about my girls. Karla is actually my second pregnancy. I wasn't very sick with her but a little. I got the diabetes with her as well. We maintained it with diet. And then, I needed a doctor to monitor my diabetes. I was seeing a midwife I really liked. It was hard, but she switched me to a doctor. In the time it took to find a doctor who could take me and my insurance, 3 weeks, I became preclampsic. I do not know what my blood pressure was when I went in to see the docotor, but during labor it got to 150/200. I shouldn't have been walking when I went to the hospital, but I felt fine. My doctor met me at the hospital and told me we were going to induce, now. So Karla came on Feb 22, 2005 at 9 in the morning. It was a fairly easy labor because they gave me stuff to control my blood pressure and stop seisures. It also stops labor--so that and the pit fought causing me to graudally progress forward.
Her first word was "ouch" during stake confrence. That night she said "Daddy." Six months later she said "Momma." She also took her first steps to Daddy during the only 30 minutes I was away in 3 days. I knew she was close!! She was a daddy's girl until shortly after Kylee was born.
Karla is named after her Grandma K(arla Nef). Todd wanted to name his daughter after his mom. Since both woman are the first born in their families, as was I and my mom, we felt it only appropriate to name Karla after her grandma and me (my middle name): Karla Colleen Nef.
Karla has been stubborn (or so I thought until Kylee was born). She has also been very considerate and outgoing. She says hi to everyone and is always looking for new friends. She has been my "little momma" and is very consirned about what her sister is doing, that she is okay, and what her punishment should be. Karla has a good heart though.
Karla in her birth blessing was blessed to be surrounded by love. I have seen this to be true. I think she was adopted in half the families of the farmington ward. She has come to appreciate and love to receive father's blessings. The other thing to note: in her last blessing, the Lord told her He knows of her strong will, and if she will humble herself and listen to her parents...I will have to go and look up the blessing part. I want to say that no harm will come to her but maybe it was that He will direct her paths.... I just remember how powerful it was. I will look.
I love you Karla.
As I think of the up coming baby, I also think about my girls. Karla is actually my second pregnancy. I wasn't very sick with her but a little. I got the diabetes with her as well. We maintained it with diet. And then, I needed a doctor to monitor my diabetes. I was seeing a midwife I really liked. It was hard, but she switched me to a doctor. In the time it took to find a doctor who could take me and my insurance, 3 weeks, I became preclampsic. I do not know what my blood pressure was when I went in to see the docotor, but during labor it got to 150/200. I shouldn't have been walking when I went to the hospital, but I felt fine. My doctor met me at the hospital and told me we were going to induce, now. So Karla came on Feb 22, 2005 at 9 in the morning. It was a fairly easy labor because they gave me stuff to control my blood pressure and stop seisures. It also stops labor--so that and the pit fought causing me to graudally progress forward.
Her first word was "ouch" during stake confrence. That night she said "Daddy." Six months later she said "Momma." She also took her first steps to Daddy during the only 30 minutes I was away in 3 days. I knew she was close!! She was a daddy's girl until shortly after Kylee was born.
Karla is named after her Grandma K(arla Nef). Todd wanted to name his daughter after his mom. Since both woman are the first born in their families, as was I and my mom, we felt it only appropriate to name Karla after her grandma and me (my middle name): Karla Colleen Nef.
Karla has been stubborn (or so I thought until Kylee was born). She has also been very considerate and outgoing. She says hi to everyone and is always looking for new friends. She has been my "little momma" and is very consirned about what her sister is doing, that she is okay, and what her punishment should be. Karla has a good heart though.
Karla in her birth blessing was blessed to be surrounded by love. I have seen this to be true. I think she was adopted in half the families of the farmington ward. She has come to appreciate and love to receive father's blessings. The other thing to note: in her last blessing, the Lord told her He knows of her strong will, and if she will humble herself and listen to her parents...I will have to go and look up the blessing part. I want to say that no harm will come to her but maybe it was that He will direct her paths.... I just remember how powerful it was. I will look.
I love you Karla.
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